Hi, I'm new to overlanding, and off-roading.
I've read that you should never engage 4WD unless you're in a low traction situation, otherwise you'll mess up a lot of things.
So is there an exact minimum on how, for example, wet the road has to be?
You just divide the cube root of velocity by the friction coefficient...
Nah, I'm just kidding you.
The problem is that when turning, the vehicle's wheels need to turn at different speeds. Not a problem if you're in 2wd - the front wheels are spinning freely and the unlocked rear diff takes care of the rear wheels. Also not a problem if the surface allows the tires to slip/slide a little (dirt, gravel, sand, snow, ice, mud, etc). BUT because pavement is a high traction surface, pavement and 4wd don't mix, not even wet pavement. Wait for a poor traction surface (again dirt, gravel, sand, snow, ice, mud, etc).
**IF** you accidentally forget to drop out of 4wd as you come back onto pavement, you may encounter a situation when turning, in which the vehicle suddenly feels like the brakes are on. STOP. Forcing the vehicle in this state will typically twist axles or drive shafts and may cause one to fail (usually, they are designed to break first to protect the more expensive diffs & transfer case in this situation). Drop back out of 4wd. If the vehicle won't disengage 4wd, you may need to either back up or turn the wheels the other direction or drop into neutral and turn the wheels until you can disengage 4wd. Check your owners manual for tips on disengaging.
The one warning I'd offer is that 4wd on ice drives differently than you're probably accustomed to and isn't always "better". Try it out on an icy parking lot where you have room to make a few mistakes.