Off-road alone.

[OTH Overland]

Ive been on a trip with you, we need to go again!

Carter, bet we could almost throw rocks at each other across Saratoga Passage, we look right at Oak Harbor from Camano! Hope we can cross paths one of these days, Michelle & I are working on a schedule for monthly meetups and trips we will be posting soon.

 

[a12houk]

I have 4 posted
2 in Oregon, 2 in California

Aaron, long time no see! Michelle & I had a great time adventuring with you last summer on the WABDR!, hope we will see you on a trip or two this year. We have our weekday vacation time scheduled for the year so can't make the longer trips you plan, but perhaps a three day weekend adventure, will be looking at the 1-3 stages of WABDR sometime this year..

Definitely looking to do some weekend trips. Lots I want to see in North cascades.
Still have one more year of my son being in marching band, so fall trips will be infrequent.

 

[Burly]

Ive been on a trip with you, we need to go again!

Carter, bet we could almost throw rocks at each other across Saratoga Passage, we look right at Oak Harbor from Camano! Hope we can cross paths one of these days, Michelle & I are working on a schedule for monthly meetups and trips we will be posting soon.

Been living up in the Anacortes area lately! If you see my jeep stop me!

 

[Murphy Slaw]

I'm a dog person, everybody should have a dog.

I like being alone.

I can look all around in every direction and not find one single idiot...

 

[PapaDave]

Good question OP, great responses everyone. If I could advise myself when I was 24 years old I would say there’s a difference between being alone and lonely. And I would admit to myself that we are built to be in relationship with others whether that’s friends, significant others, or God. I would also admit to myself that sometimes seeking solitude was to restore my introverted self and other times it is to hide from the fear of being vulnerable with another human being. After my divorce I felt like I deserved to be alone, plus it was predictable and I could control it with no surprises. But then by the grace of God I met a beautiful and lovely woman who saw through everything to me and the risk of emotional intimacy became more attractive than the predictability of loneliness.

At 24 years old I wish I had worked harder to be the very best man I could be that would attract the very best woman I could. I know you did not ask for relationship advice, but I have found that it plays out for both significant others and friends. I have found so many friends through Overlanding, but all of them were intentional and deliberate (on my side) with the potential to be messy! I have led trips with 30 rigs and 2 rigs, but what I like is there is time to be alone in my own set up or to sit around the fire with a large group. Both have grown to be very satisfying!

And yes my wife knew from the start that the outdoors was a part of the package deal and now she cooks us amazing meals out on the trail! Amazing camping women do exist! And the friends I’ve made have been the best in my lifetime so far.

But I do still enjoy solo trips as well! My thoughts for what it’s worth.

Btw writing this made my heart full and here’s a photo dump of just some of the group trips, family trips, and solo trips I’ve been on.

 

[grubworm]

What do you do when you are alone deep in the woods and start to drift into a loneliness state?
Why does the wilderness have such a massive loneliness factor but yet keeps us fulfilled even if we are loss deeper than we ever gone?

i really dont know what thats like. i like being alone and i enjoy my company...i get to think about anything i want and i get to enjoy my surroundings without interruption. i always thought of loneliness as an emptiness a person feels when there is no one else around. i generally feel that emptiness when there ARE others around because people generally tend to just talk about other people and how bad others are. nothing like going hiking and all the person next to me is talking about is work gossip about people i dont know, will never meet, and couldnt care less about. i get along extremely well with others, but i do limit my exposure because most people are mentally draining after a while, so i really do not experience any adverse affects of solitude...only benefits.

im sure age has a lot to do with it as well...the older i get, the more i enjoy solitude and peace.
i think the wilderness is very fulfilling because it is beautiful and doesnt have an agenda. i havent come across a tree yet that has bullshitted me, tried to manipulate or rip me off. when people become more like trees...i'll re-evaluate my position.

 

[DintDobbs]

@PapaDave "...the risk of emotional intimacy became more attractive than the predictability of loneliness."

True words, my friend. True words. Many people experiencing loneliness are quite busy with social interactions, but are lonely because none of those interactions is meaningful to them.

@grubworm I'll go ahead and agree with this one, too! It's the same concept, just on the other side of the coin. If you interact with people expecting emotional intimacy, mostly you'll dig through an inch of dirt and hit bedrock. Most people will also test others with "meaningless" interactions to see how they respond, and depending on that, will keep or discard them as friends. Some people have gold, but it's under the bedrock. And some people, you dig for months and years, looking for the gold, or even just the bedrock, and all you find is more dirt.

Again, not to derail this about relationships, but loneliness comes from interactions in the absence of relationships (workmates vs. friends, for example). My ex-GF vented to me for several months before she finally settled down and we started actually having two-sided conversations. Complained nonstop about how annoying people are, in very specific ways, and provided no shortage of examples from her personal life. School, work, home, friends, all annoying.

I know, lady. They annoy me too. But I heard her out, all the way out, until she finally RAN out, and we stayed together for 5 years. Although she told me that she felt that those 5 years were wasted, I feel that they had been the best 5 years of my life.

That relationship was very draining and inconvenient to me, but it was all worth it because of the personal development.

To bring it around to my point, solo wheeling and overlanding is the best way to know what's in yourself. Introspective time, reflective time, time to think about your thoughts. It brings out what's in your heart. You can sing, laugh, hoot and holler, you can sit quietly and watch the environment, you can run over fallen trees or flex on some rocks. And there is nobody there to care about it, or judge you for it. It's all about your relationship with yourself, with the environment, and with your rig.

If what's in you is a desire to share these experiences, find ye a gal for shotgun.

 

[FishFam_logs]

@Burly I would caution associating loneliness to just being isolated. It could send you on a hunt for social interactions that may even cause more issue. Not to say avoid people, gatherings or relationships. But I know plenty of people that can be plopped down in Times Square and have the same feeling of isolation. Myself included.
Just know its a trait EVERY human feels during all stages of life. And the cure for it is different for each.
Personally, I have never been to the extent of isolation you are describing. I can't offer much advise there. But the replies even to this thread should show, even though your lonely, your not alone.

 

[MMc]

Good topic, good responses, thank you all. I am an extrovert that likes being alone. After my wife passed I went through some tough times emotionally and realized many thing about myself. I travel solo mostly, and I enjoy it. Because of my surfing Baja going with more 1 other rig and 3 other people is considered bad form, I have adopted to most the other aspects of my overlanding. OP might want to consider looking up "Relationships Styles" it might shed some light on how you relate in a relationships and what you expect from those close to you.
What would I say to my 24 year old self? The guys you are climbing with will be your lifelong friends. Trust yourself and love others like you might lose them tomorrow. Mike don't get so tied up perusing your activities, diversify and pursue other interest also. Continue to minimize stupid debt. Work on yourself, to learn to alone without being lonely earlier in life. This is a very personal journey.

 

[Krusty]

Enjoying this thread. Personally I don't have too much issue being by myself except at night. I don't usually sleep much so I stay up late...and get bored at times

 

[AndrewW]

I'm an introvert by nature. I like to keep to myself but I find myself being social. Sometimes against my will and other times by my own accord. I work in an environment where I must be social. Constantly interacting with people. I also have volunteered my time as a softball coach and board member for my daughter's softball organization. I enjoy all of those things until the politics of people come into play. Not politics like are you a democrat or republican. I mean "why did Nancy come off as rude today and did you see the e-mail from Bob". Office politics.

I off road to get away from all of that. Often seeking areas that do not have cell reception so the possibility of being contacted is not possible. That's when I'm most happy. However, I would like a companion to experience that with. I have a wife and 4 children, two of which are on the graduating end of high school, and an 8, and 5 year old. They go off roading with me but really only complain because it gets boring or their tablets are dead. And that makes my life stressful and less joyful to be off roading. This is why I've put a lot of thought in getting a dog that him/her being my travel companion. Sure we can't talk about the weather or life goals, but it gives me someone/something to hang out with and do some activities.

Andrew

 

[Burly]

Everyone, thank you. Seriously, I read all of your comments. That’s very heartfelt! Thank you. I’m leaving the post up. This is a topic I know doesn’t necessarily gets discussed in our community but it’s a character trait we all have. Thats why we have each other. Overlanding is not for the faint of heart, continue your passions. Drive to the next waterfall or canyon. Stay next to the creek bed under the stars. Most of all NEVER EVER let someone down play you. If they do, drown them out with good beer, and the silence of the woods. One thing my dad always told me growing up, “no matter what you do, or what life throws at you. Go hard, Go fast, and most of all, Never give up.” Thanks guys. That really means a lot! I gotta be honest, I teared up a little bit reading these, really wasn’t expecting such a positive response, so thank you! I’m am always available to message back and forth, take a phone call. Anything anyone might need! And I’m always all in on a trip to the back country. Feel free to message me.

-Burly

 

[Burly]

Enjoying this thread. Personally I don't have too much issue being by myself except at night. I don't usually sleep much so I stay up late...and get bored at times

At night is usually the worst times.. however take this guys comments into consideration. They are the words of wisdom!

 

[Mountaintrails71]

I think it really depends on how you were raised and such. Me, I don’t feel alone. I like the peace and quiet and lack of people. I like to be by myself but I do take my dog a lot. I was raised in a farm atmosphere were you did things by yourself a lot and usually on the back of a horse or in a tractor and with a dog. The mind can play tricks on you for sure. People are more apt to do you harm than anything in the woods. I have owned and wheeled Jeeps since I was 14 and even though I would go in some groups. I found attitudes to be hard to take and liked going alone also and I am a believer that wheeling alone is not bad. It teaches you self sufficiency and restraint from going places you shouldn’t since you are alone.

 

[Akicita]

Hello everyone,

My name is Carter, as you well know. I'm 24. I'm an avid overlander/off-roader/sailor/climber/camper/mountain biker/engineer/ I could go on forever.
I live in a RV near the Canadian boarder with 2 house plants and soon planning to get a dog.
I have a few friends, some very close, others not so much. A mom and dad in south Texas who live on a boat who I always call and reach out to any chance I get.
I have a lot. Yet, I'm still lonely. I know this isn't really the place to talk much, but I have serious question for this community that is avoided I think more than it should be.

What do you do when you are alone deep in the woods and start to drift into a loneliness state?

Why does the wilderness have such a massive loneliness factor but yet keeps us fulfilled even if we are loss deeper than we ever gone?

I feel like most of this world I am still figuring out. But one big question I cannot seem to solve is this very one.

Háu Kola Carter!

I turned 60 this past Saturday and have spent many days, nights, weeks, and months alone growing up ranching in the backcountry of Colorado, on solo crossings of the Atlantic and Pacific by sailboat, numerous solo mountaineering expeditions, more than a dozen conflict, combat and contract deployments to the remotest regions of this world. I believe some of these similarities makes us common in our lifestyles. . . Here's what I can offer about loneliness brought on by the environment we find ourselves in:

What do you do when you are alone deep in the woods and start to drift into a loneliness state? - Loneliness is a state of mind much like comfort - both are illusions and false senses of security, bred from familiar things and familiar ways. They narrow the mind - weaken the body - and rob your soul of spirit and determination. Finding yourself alone and choosing to be alone are two very different circumstances that require a proper mindset. When loneliness enters my mindset I embrace it and challenge myself to accept it as a condition of the choice I made to be alone. Admitting the feeling of loneliness is the first step to engaging in affirmative activities and thoughts that overcome any discomfort of being alone. ​

​

Why does the wilderness have such a massive loneliness factor but yet keeps us fulfilled even if we are lost deeper than we ever gone? Ahhh. . . by this question, I can tell you have spent significant time alone. . . A prophetic question and as such, I offer you this to consider - What is the opposite meaning of the word loneliness? Answer: there isn't one. . . Loneliness is a feeling. . . many will tell you the opposite of loneliness is community, contentment, joy, or love. Being alone is a description of a state in which we may find ourselves in by environment or mindset but it does not define the feeling of loneliness. I chose the solitude of the wilderness, mountains, oceans, and of my thoughts so I may engage with no distractions whatever it is I am doing with full concentration while feeling grateful for the experiences of my life and living it to it's fullest. ​

​

I have faced loneliness and death more times than I can count - witnessed the worst that man can do to mankind . . . and best that man can do to mankind, only to realize that my time on this earth is short. I will not succumb to the illusion of loneliness, the false sense of security of community or be weakened and robbed of spirit and determination by it. I choose my path by the freedom I have to do so and welcome the challenges that may be a part of that path!​

​

I feel like most of this world I am still figuring out. But one big question I cannot seem to solve is this very one. The whole world is in front of you. . . figuring it out will be a lifelong challenge of your path and growth. If you never solve the question for yourself, find confidence that you are not the only one that have or will face these questions. The greater the challenges of life the more glory there is in overcoming them.​

​

Yuoniháya - Akicita​

 

[Kevin108]

I spend a lot of time alone. Sometimes maybe too much. A few years ago, after several days in the woods not talking to anyone, I cut on the radio and was relieved to hear the voice of another human. The novelty of that experience always amuses me.

 

[OTH Overland]

I used to really enjoy my solo trips, started out when I was a spring chicken and going for weeklong off trail hiking trips, would be rare to run across anyone during the trip, long before cell phones, satellite devices etc. Plenty of solo vehicle based camping trips across country long before overlanding was a thing .. lol and a few years driving long haul trucks, resulted in a lot of time spent by myself. Looking back these are all still great memories, always managed to keep my mind busy with tasks at hand, and still found myself needing to schedule 'down time' to stop and enjoy what was around me. Fast forward to today, and I am lucky to have Michelle as both my wife and best friend. We are seldom apart except for when work gets in the way, and really enjoy each others company. We enjoy travelling remote with just the two of us, or are happy to travel with like minded others, the big thing is pushing out the constant noise that has become the world. Technology, Internet and the associated crap that often comes with it, while sometime necessary for work, contact and emergencies it can become overwhelming with the disaster or political issue of the day in your face 24/7. "Overlanding" and our other adventures provides a great opportunity to find the off button on our devices and just spend time with each other and nature. We also try to put the phones away once and a while at home and just play a board game. Does wonders for stress levels and gives you appreciation of those around you. Looking back over my life, Solo, with your significant other or some good friends does not seem to matter as much as getting outside and spending some time exploring is the key. Now I have the urge to go find somewhere with out service . .lol

 

[Moment4Life]

I know about that 5 years buddy, been 7 here and she decided to leave, she thought I would be upset, well I have been in a positive vibe mode for quite some time now and find I look more for what my angels, guardian and others are working on in my life and sometimes in the quietest moments I get the calmest deepest thoughts to keep on being a positive good human being and that is priceless. I enjoy company when it is positive and productive, when it is bull plucky doo do I just pull back and retreat to solitude and inner reflection , say a little prayer for the person being doo doo and move on along. It is easy to smile these days and very hard if I choose to be upset to stomach it. Positive in positive out.

 

[Willie]

Just wait until you get in relationships and situations with people and wish you could be alone! The drama can be energy draining. Be careful what you wish for! Even with my best friends I seem to spend a day or two with and I seek the high lonesome again. Could be a little selfish in that respect. After a full work life dealing with the public and a couple of divorces that were not that dramatic but not fun either, I rather like my alone time. I drove 7K miles and up and around the Rockies for a couple of months last year and never turned on the radio.
Sought out the isolated areas with few people. It seems more fun to talk to strangers sometimes. I have an on-going internal dialog that keeps me occupied and don't really ever get bored. I like to read and that focuses my mind so I fall asleep. Learned that in school. Never stayed up late studying but got good sleep! I spent a lot of my youth hanging out, playing ball, drinking beer, etc. with friends and that was good too. Many different stages to life. Learn to adapt. Take advantages of the opportunities. Learn to hone and trust you instincts. Don't fear the unknown but prepare for it. Don't take any wooden nickels and don't trust whitey! LOL

BURLY,

You ask a valid question. However; FishinCrzy took the words right out of my mouth - and articulated it much more eloquently than I ever would. I bought a new truck and a new RV and I haven't been home in around 4 months, I travel the nation alone with little to no agenda and recently spent an entire month secluded in the AZ desert all alone...priceless. I think as you get more years on your "personal airframe" solitude will be much more welcomed - and understood. Oh, and being married to a lunatic for half my life and a prior career in law enforcement might have helped me to embrace it as well, LOL! Enjoy it while you can my friend!

 

[Moment4Life]

Lunatic , I may know that individual LOL