My deepest sympathy for your loss, adventurer. I lost my wife from doctor neglect 7 years ago after 59 years of marriage.
I was luckier than most men, I was self employed, had a home office, and my wife had to put up with me 24/7 - 365.
She gave me six children and tons of memories, all very cherished. We never had any money for saving but God gave us everything we needed. She was ill for the last 30 years of her life and medical bills ate our lunch, but we managed with conservation and planning. Keep her in your heart, but remember, you are a young man and you can have a wonderful life with a new love to carry you through to old age. God Bless you !
Lanlubber