Coms in an emergency: Neither if you’re not wanting to put in the time to learn the skills needed. UHF (GMRS) frequencies don’t travel as far as VHF (2m) frequencies which still don’t travel as far as HF frequencies. UHF expect about 25-50 miles with peak conditions, add high/thick vegetation and mountainous terrain and watch that drop to 1 mile or less. VHF carries up to 250 miles+ Under perfect conditions, but add in the same conditions as we did for UHF and you might get lucky and get out to 50 miles. HF world wide propagation with less than perfect condition, add in high vegetation and extreme terrain and you can still reach US coast to US Coast on some bands.
Unfortunately for the situation you describe, “I know there’s a whole community built around amateur radio but I couldn’t care less about Ham as a hobby…”, the tech license wouldn’t be enough.
GMRS is a trail convoy coms/ local (city) coms and not useful in an emergency situation. 2m (tech class) is better, but unless you can get to the top of a mountain and have a directional antenna and know which direction to point your antenna you’re only going to be marginally better off than GMRS.
personally I would (and did) go for my general license and get a 2m/70cm dual band radio with the MARS mod, program the radio for both 2m repeaters and GMRS frequencies, get your GMRS license and use one radio for both. If you get a radio like the Yaesu FT-891 or Icom IC-7100 all in one radio (also known as a “ham shack in a box” )you can have one radio that does it all. Im running an Icom IC-7100 in my Bronco along with a cheap Baofeng UV-8R so I can have it all. I understand the limitations of both radios, but I know these limitations and I spend a lot of time practicing with my HF radio wile mobile to find out what works and doesn’t work.
Last thing, HF requires a long antenna at extreme heights to be efficient. Some times you may not have the time to toss up an antenna into the trees, and your little 1/4 wave vertical might not be the best antenna for your environment. But even so, a compromised antenna on HF will get out further and more reliably than either VHF or UHF with perfect antennas.
If you are wanting Emergency comms, get a SatComs device like an InReach or SPOT. If you’re looking for trail coms find out what everyone else is running in your area and match it. If you’re looking at a comms platform to rag chew then go with ham.