Covid Quips

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FishinCrzy

Rank V

Advocate I

2,595
South Carolina, USA
First Name
Rob
Last Name
Duncan
Member #

19015

Service Branch
StateHazmatResponder
Half of us are going to come out of this quarantine as amazing cooks. The other half will come out with a drinking problem.

I used to spin that toilet paper like I was on Wheel of Fortune. Now I turn it like I'm cracking a safe.

I need to practice social-distancing from the refrigerator.

Still haven't decided where to go for Easter ----- The Living Room or The Bedroom

PSA: every few days try your jeans on just to make sure they fit. Pajamas will have you believe all is well in the kingdom.

Home-schooling is going well. 2 students suspended for fighting and 1 teacher fired for drinking on the job.

I don't think anyone expected that when we changed the clocks we'd go from Standard Time to the Twilight Zone

This morning I saw a neighbor talking to her cat. It was obvious she thought her cat understood her. I came into my house, told my dog..... we laughed a lot.

So, after this quarantine.....will the producers of My 600 Pound Life just find me or do I find them?

Went to this restaurant called THE KITCHEN. You have to gather all the ingredients and make your own meal. I have no clue how this place is still in business.

My body has absorbed so much soap and disinfectant lately that when I pee it cleans the toilet.

Day 5 of Homeschooling: One of these little ##### called in a bomb threat.

I'm so excited --- it's time to take out the garbage. What should I wear?

Classified Ad: Single man with toilet paper seeks woman with hand sanitizer for some clean fun.

Day 6 of Homeschooling: My child just said "I hope I don't have the same teacher next year".... I'm pissed...
 

Road

Not into ranks, titles or points.
Launch Member

Advocate III

3,379
On the road in North America
First Name
Road
Last Name
Dude
Member #

6589

With everyone home for weeks on end, our kitchen and bathroom are getting used way more than normal.

My kid just hollered at me "Dad! Dad! Get up here, NOW! The toilet is smoking!

I ran up there lickety-split to find:

humor-smokingtoilet-900.jpg

Damned kids. . .


Stay safe, stay clean, stay healthy!

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